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Seriously? Seriously? It's gotten to the point where I'm left questioning whether some of these brands are parodies or secretly controlled by a weird horological overlord.

I stumbled upon a Valuchi Indiegogo advert a while back, and I initially mistook it for the near-identical Filippo Loreti Kickstarter ad that I ripped apart 12 months ago.

Same questionable backstory, same obscure European theming, and the same claims of 'affordable luxury.'

The more I read into this so-called 'Valuchi', the more I began to wonder…is anything about this company original? The name is generic, they've copied another kid's homework with their ads, and their watches look like an AP Royal Oak clone with a dial transplanted from a Filippo Loreti. If I bought one, would I even receive it?

Ordering Process

To find out, I pulled the trigger on the exact model pictured in their advertising. That being the £169 Lunar Calendar 40mm in Silver Blue. I placed the order under a pseudonym to prevent my online presence from affecting the whole process; I wanted to see the typical customer experience with this young company.

I didn't receive an order confirmation email for 3 days, which concerned me. But surprisingly, after a week or so, a parcel arrived containing a Valuchi-branded box. I was either getting a watch or whacked, one of the two!

Marketing

Before we look at what's inside, we need to see what was promised on their Indiegogo, website, and marketing. Then we can judge whether the product itself lives up to that level of hype. Trust me, you'll want to stick around for this one!

Given that this brand was started via the crowdfunding platform Indigogo in 2019, it seems like the perfect place for us to begin.

"Valuchi Watches – Luxury Watches, Made Affordable."

See what they did there? They took the phrase 'affordable luxury' and flipped it around! Revolutionary advertising if I've ever seen it.

They're immediately promising "high-end watches at down-to-earth prices." You can see they raised over £200,000 from almost 1.5k backers, which is no small sum of money.

Below this, there are a few attractive renderings of the watches and a segment where they flex their various media appearances. Some of their most notable claims are that their watches are "guaranteed to turn heads," that their watches have been "meticulously designed to ensure its simple perfection," and that their color schemes are "exceptional." I'm not sure what constitutes an 'exceptional' color scheme, but let's continue.

They later mention how they were inspired by Amsterdam and Milan, which is unusual considering the drastically different architecture across the two cities.

Assembly

The juicy bit is where they talk about the assembly. They detail how they have partnered with the "finest watch manufacturers" and even use bold text when emphasizing how each watchmaker "put considerable time, effort and attention" into their watches.

It's a shame they didn't put considerable time, effort, and attention into their grammar.

Unfortunately, they never state precisely where the watches are made.

They continue by stating that "every watch is assembled using advanced technologies, artisanal know-how, authenticity and exemplary finishing."

If true, these surely must be luxury-quality watches? At one point, they even state that this is the "very best watch Valuchi can offer." So, they're leaving nothing on the table with these watches and aren't cutting corners.

Promotion

Something they are cutting, however, is the ever-faithful middleman. After bragging about their "premium, luxury Italian leather" straps that supposedly upgrade these watches to the level of a 'thousand-dollar-timepiece,' they quickly hit us with the problem their brand aims to solve. The supposed "hidden fees" customers are charged when buying a luxury watch. By removing "branding cost" (whatever that is), distributors, retail stores, and wholesalers, Valuychi can provide a watch that rivals a $2000 one for a fraction of the price.

It's fair to say then that my expectations were set pretty high after reading this, but I noticed a few…quirks. For example, the leather strap pictured didn't look like a Valuchi strap, given the standardized lugs. I also thought I recognized the main shot of the leatherworker from the work I did on my Spaghetti Scameti parody earlier in the year. After some quick Googling, it appears that this is, in fact, a Shutterstock stock image.

This piqued my interest. I started looking at their other images and made a string of unusual discoveries.

Product Shots

After a couple of reverse image searches, it turns out that all 4 of Valuchi's 'world-class crafting' product shots have dubious origins.

The lower left image has been 'borrowed' from SwissInfo, which is part of the Swiss Broadcasting Corporation, with the image simply being cropped. Perhaps these watches are Swiss after all?

The upper-right photo was taken from Frederique Constant, where the dial had been substituted for a Valuchi one. Note the lack of a shadow under the watchmaker's finger in the Valuchi image versus the original.

The remaining two images have been shamelessly stolen from competing Kickstarter brand Laventure, with the dials once more edited to look like Valuchi ones, along with some minor tweaking to try and make the edit look more convincing. If you look closely, you can tell that all three aren't even photos of the Valuchi dials; they're actually computer-generated mockups!

Did Valuchi obtain the commercial rights to these images from all four companies in question? I have about as much confidence in that as I do in their two-year guarantee.

The cringeworthy advert that accompanies the campaign echoes most of these points and features the stereotypical imagery of people sitting at a computer screen 'designing' watches. For a few seconds, you can see a leatherworker cutting and sewing an item that bears no resemblance to any Valuchi product that I could find. It resembles a bag handle or something similar, leading me to believe that this is once again stock footage, but I'm no leather expert.

Website

Their website is plastered with claims of 'luxury,' with them going so far as to call their pieces "perfection," which I found amusing. My favorite part is on the front page, where they state that "world-class, international, high fashion and an authentic feeling is made into this watch." Interesting. That last one, "authentic," seems to crop up a lot. Authentic, as opposed to…?

The about section tells us a bit more about the founder Kelvin. I don't condone any harassment of him or his team, by the way. Unlike Daniel Wellington or MVMT, this section sounds like it might have some basis in reality, though one thing I will point out is that our boy Kelvin is Dutch, despite the Italian-sounding brand name.

When searching for a reviews section on their website, I stumbled upon something unexpected. A page containing an article written by someone named 'Alex Stones', with the branding for a site called 'Horology Journal'. This post reads like one long advert, with the narrator shilling Valuchi at every one of the 6 points featured. It contains some of the same stolen product shots as the Indiegogo page and, oddly enough, is found at this web address. Yep, this article is hosted on the Valuchi website, despite the substitution of their branding with that of this mysterious Horology Journal! I can't find any further references to this 'journal' on their website or the rest of the internet.

I believe this "review," as they're calling it in their URL and metadata, has been completely fabricated to appear in search results and give the impression that it has been written by a third party. I couldn't find any mention of a watch reviewer that goes by the name of Alex Stones and the watch community is hardly the largest online club to begin with.

Pricing

A new piece of information presented here is this uninformative bar chart, which supposedly compares Valuchi's costs to mysterious 'others' that cost €1000+.

One thing that confounded me is how (providing the quality of the watches is the same) Valuchi can undercut the 'design, manufacture & distribution' costs by more than half, while still making a profit of their own? Watch brands require these costs to physically make their products and it's common knowledge that large multinational, profit-driven companies will already be doing everything to keep these costs as low as possible to improve their margins.

I have a couple of questions.

How can a tiny brand undercut manufacturing giants when economies of scale are considered? Overlooking the lack of data to back this chart up, is this comparison an example of Valuchi inadvertently admitting that they're cutting corners, given that their figure for this vital stat is lower?

The supplementary text expands with the ever-present references to "branding cost, distributors, retail stores and wholesalers," that Valuchi is apparently sidestepping.

I'm not an avid Facebook user, but The Time Teller shared a screenshot of a Valuchi post where the brand taunted Audemars Piguet for charging what they do for their Royal Oak. The sponsored label reveals that this is a paid advertisement, which surely constitutes a "branding cost"? They shamelessly even have a 'store locator' section on their website, detailing a minimum of 11 retail stores that stock Valuchi products - cannibalizing their earlier claims about cutting out retailers. Come on Valuchi, you're handing me this stuff on a silver platter!

So, that's what they're promising and how they can pull it off. A $2000 watch for $200, and that makes it a win-win for me.

I'm either going to bag myself a bargain of a watch or some highly entertaining online content.

Here's what turned up...

Shipping

The DHL consignment note revealed some interesting information. This Valuchi watch has made its way to the UK via a shipping warehouse in Dubai. Wait, didn't Valuchi brag about not having 'distribution fees'?

Perhaps the watch was made in the horological nexus of the United Arab Emirates, and this is some distorted direct-to-consumer business model?

Well, that conspiracy theory was quickly debunked when the attached invoice confirmed that the country of origin was, you guessed it, China. The 'ship to' section confusingly states that it was sent from a small town on the outskirts of Amsterdam. From China to the Netherlands, Dubai, and finally to the UK? This watch has had more abroad holidays in a week than I've had in the last decade!

It's crazy that that process is cheaper than just making it in Europe, right? Whether it's cost-effective or not, this procedure proves that their promise to cut out distributors in their promo video was also false.

Packaging

Given the journey, it's unsurprising that the box had received some bumps and bruises on its travels. There were also some luxury tears to the internal pillow and a dusting of dirt throughout. Still, it did protect the watch, which arrived successfully…sort of. We'll get to the caveat, but let's talk about the watch first.

Design

Despite the multitude of stolen promotional images, this watch looks just like most of the renderings. The blue dial has a great sunburst to it, and the punchier colors look much more pleasing than the dull Filippo Loreti moon phase that I previously looked at.

I'm stunned to admit that the brushed case is also reasonably well done for the retail price. While featuring some stiff sections, the solid-link bracelet appears to be high quality, which is a relief considering the proprietary end links. The primary issue is that butterfly clasps inherently house no adjustment holes, so it will be difficult to find a comfortable fit. The tiny, smooth, hexagonal crown is also verging on unusable, but I suppose it fits the look.

Watch Strap

If you’re wondering how the 'luxury Italian leather' straps stack up, don't worry; I ordered one of those too so I could test it out…or so I thought!

Yeah, the watch came, but the strap did not. I've had no further updates via email, and it's been several months now; there's still no sign of it, so I'm assuming it's never arriving. That's $30 instantly down the pan, thanks Valuchi.

Dimensions & Specifications

On the wrist, the watch wears like an Invicta. It might be 40mm across, but it feels like a 50mm one due to the inflexible end links that boost the effective lug to lug to around 60mm. Therefore, this 'Lunar Calendar' won't fit you unless your name is Tyson Fury. It's a shame, too, because it's slim, as in the renderings, thanks to the quartz movement inside.

In fact, we'd better check some of those specs. After all, a luxury watch needs luxury components, right? Otherwise, it would just be a regular watch? According to the product page, this is kitted out with a Miyota 6P00.

Like with the Filippo Loreti, the inclusion of this super-basic ticker annihilates any claims of luxury. I've seen this movement make its way into $50 fashion watches for years, and while it's not bottom-of-the-barrel trash, it's nothing more than mediocre, even for the $200 price tag. Did that stop them from flexing about how these are 'real powerhouses'? Of course, it didn't.

Valuchi never specifies what crystal is used on this watch, with it simply being listed as 'crystal glass' on their Indiegogo page. Intriguing. My diamond tester quickly identified that it was a piece of generic, flat mineral crystal and not sapphire – the material routinely used in luxury sports watches. This mineral glass costs around $1 per unit when bought en masse and is liable to accrue plenty of scratches over its lifespan, unlike the scratchproof performance of sapphire, which would have been just a couple of quid more. But remember, they aren't cutting any corners; this is the "very best watch Valuchi can offer."

The engraving looks alright despite being unnecessary, and the water performance is adequate too at 5bar. As a whole, the watch looks okay and feels like it's still built reasonably well despite some of the sub-par specifications. For the retail price, it's not a complete disaster.

Quality Control

Is the overall quality indicative of a luxury watch, as was promised? On the majority of fronts, no. The quality control, for instance, isn't up to snuff. This unit has several misaligned markers, most prominently at the 9-o'clock position, and the logo and accompanying text are also slightly offset to the right.

While not unattractive, the brushed finish itself hasn't been completed with the precision of most luxury watches. Additionally, the piece doesn't stand up well on a macro level, with the markers and handset looking rather basic versus actual modern luxury watches. The $300 Orient Star Classic and Maen Hudson are several tiers above, so heaven knows how a $2000 watch compares.

Originality

To be clear, I've seen much worse from the likes of MVMT and DW. Nevertheless, I can't say that this lunar calendar is particularly original. I mentioned earlier how it looked like they'd copy and pasted the dial from a Filippo Loreti, as they are very similar, right down to the handset.

That's not where the 'borrowing' ends, though. With the screwed bezel and brushed finish, the case design is a blatant rip off of the AP Royal Oak and a Hublot to a lesser extent. Funnily enough, the former is the same brand that Valuchi was previously taunting on Facebook. The second hand has also been ripped straight from a Rolex Milgauss, leading to a final result that The Borrowers would be proud of.

Maybe this is what they meant when they claimed they had lower design costs than luxury brands? After all, it's much easier to steal various design elements and Frankenstein them together than to come up with something original.

If you're not bothered by these pinched design elements, you should look at 'homage' watches instead, most of which go the whole way and outright clone famous designs for low prices. I don't like them but maybe you will.

I disagree that Valuchi watches have been "meticulously designed," as stated on their Indiegogo page. Most people reading this could have drafted something similar in under 60 seconds.

Customer Reviews

Despite the unoriginal design, you may be presented with a more pressing issue when attempting to buy a Valuchi watch. Obtaining one. Their Indiegogo and Trustpilot pages are flooded with comments from people who never received their orders, in many cases several months after placing them.

I don't think these are fake either. Several reviews note similar issues to those I encountered during the ordering process, such as the lack of a prompt order confirmation email and the absence of a tracking number. Unlike with Filippo Loreti, I didn't have to wait months to receive my unit; just be aware that there appears to be a high chance that you won't be so lucky.

Trust Pilot

I then noticed something much more peculiar. There had been a sudden influx of 5 consecutive 5-star reviews on Trustpilot. This was in contrast to the predominantly negative sentiment shared on the site before that point. In fact, until the 25th March 2021, the highest rating given to the brand was 2 stars by 2 different reviewers, with the remainder of reviews sitting at just one star.

Then, on the very same day, three 5-star reviews popped up, including two from the Netherlands, with one even being written in Dutch. What a coincidence that Valuchi is based out of the Netherlands, eh? Then, a couple of months later, another pair of 5-star reviews appeared, just a day apart from one another. Of these five users, not one has left a review for any brand other than Valuchi watches on the Trustpilot platform. Neither had any of these received the verified purchase tick, as is present on several negative reviews. Many of them exhibit broken English, and all have verbiage congruent with that on a billboard advertisement.

To me, this screams paid or illegitimate reviews. I believe some manipulation has gone on to boost their overall rating on the platform. I could be wrong, and this could be a huge coincidence. I reverse image searched the profile images of the two that had one and found no trace of them online. No social media accounts, nothing. It's almost as if they don't exist. Maybe they're just very private people…who are also willing to show their face on a Trustpilot review?

Value For Money

I'm not convinced that Valuchi watches are particularly good value at their retail price, let alone when compared to watches worth thousands. Casio, for example, has a comparable sporty quartz chronograph in their Edifice lineup that makes much more sense. This one comes with an original design, a more scratch-resistant sapphire crystal, and a bracelet that is functionally much better. It has micro-adjustment holes, proper flexibility, and standardized end links, so you can switch it to any standard strap. It's got the same type of movement as the Valuchi, is constructed in the same country, and is made of stainless steel, with arguably better finishing to boot. Did I mention that it's over $70 less than at writing?

When a Casio convincingly beats it, you know the wild claims of luxury can't be accurate. I'm not diminishing the Casio, by the way, that one is a solid watch for the price, but I can't think of anyone who'd consider them a luxury brand.

Final Thoughts

The real question this brings up is why do brands keep doing this? Why do they continue to set up formulaic paint-by-numbers companies, marketing similar entry-level products as "affordable luxury"?

Well, the answer is because people are falling for it.

Remember the funding they raised on Indiegogo? Look at the backer count. Almost one and a half thousand! Considering that very few people are willing to become early adopters to unproven companies, this is a substantial figure, especially for a brand with seemingly no connections to the wristwatch industry. One can only imagine the number of regular customers.

Who are these people then? Who is buying this stuff? Well, an interesting find has all but confirmed my suspicions. While on their Trustpilot page, I discovered a segment that used an algorithm to showcase companies that prospective Valuchi customers were also looking at. That being Paul Rich, Waldor & Co, and Forge & Foster.

These three companies have the same marketing points and slogans, embellished backstories, and similar, generic, Chinese-made fashion watches that look like cheap copies of more expensive ones. Two of them even make their own AP rip-offs. None of these are established watch brands with long histories; rather, they're all recently initiated projects like Valuchi.

This tells me that their customers are those trying to get a cheap fashion accessory that looks expensive but don't know what else is out there. These brands target this consumer base via aggressive social media advertisements, roping them in with claims of luxury and assertions that traditional watch brands can't offer what the buyers are looking for.

It feels a bit like a fashion watch Gold Rush of sorts. First came the likes of DW and MVMT; they were the first to effectively use these tactics, making them rich in the process. Now loads of others are piling in to try and achieve similar results. These newcomers replicate what is already proven to work because they don't have the skills or willingness to risk creating something new.

While I'm okay with people buying what they want and what they like the look of, I think it's important to recognize the distinction between 'marketing speak' and outright lies. In my opinion, the tactics used by brands like Valuchi cross that moral boundary and wander into the realms of fantasy. The psychological tactics in play can be particularly misleading for those new to the watch game looking for an attractive, quality watch.

If you're cool with buying into marketing fluff, then be my guest, buy a Valuchi, a Scameti, or whatever you like; I'm not stopping you.

At least now you've done your due diligence and know what you're getting. This watch isn't what was promised in the marketing.

If you want to get more for your money, check out some of my roundup articles here, which contain higher-quality options that aren't profiting from your naivety – some of which look better and cost less.